Realization
by Chainless
Summary: Syaoran gives Sakura a journal in order to organize her feelings. Syaoran x Sakura.


**November 02nd, 2005 -- Hotaru -- Characters (C) CLAMP -- One shot x5.  
Sorry for the few day delay.  
I was trying to make something out of chapter two with my Halloween Tsubasa fanfic.  
Here's something I had fun with, late at night.**

Sakura ran her nimble fingers over the rough surface of the book, reading in bold, "SAKURA".

Syaoran had bought it for her for no apparent reason, but instead suggested she write her feelings in it.

Which to her made no sense.

It was a slightly smaller then average, which was convenient for their traveling, containing endless lined pages and a cherry blossom inscribed on the front.

It brought back a sense of familiarity, but thinking about it just made her queasy.

Taking a pencil Fai had lent her, she hovered over one page in deep thought, then, lowered the pencil so that it kissed the page, leaving a small dot.

Might as well start with what she knew…

So, in a gradual improving fashion, she recorded something somewhat along her thoughts.

_Hi, my name is Sakura. I don't know much about my self because I lost my memory. I don't know how though. One of my companions might, but they refuse to tell me. Maybe they don't have a choice._

_My birthday is April first, shared with an amber eyed boy I travel with. Crazy coincidence, I guess._

_By the way, by companions I really mean a friendly mage by the name of Fai, a stealthy ninja named Kurogane, a happy little creature named Mokona Modoki, and that boy- Syaoran._

_I've never met any of them before, and yet they continue to help me. I feel so fortunate._

_Anyway, continuing with my story, I lost my 'tsubasa' somehow, and ended up with these four males accompanying me in order to collect them, moving from country – dimension? - to country in order to do so. They were apparently scattered._

_I think we have about seven, now. I lost count. Kurogane might know._

_I guess we've been traveling together for almost a year now (you can see I'm not very sure of things, but it's hard when I feel so weak- I try to be strong, I really do.), and slowly I am regaining my memory. Sometimes immediately, sometimes in my dreams. Sometimes, even, when I see an item, I get a flash, allowing me to distinguish it- followed by a raging headache._

_I don't share this information with my partners, friends, even, for they will worry. They've done already so much for me._

_Fai treats me as a sister, teaching me cooking and such. How I enjoy using my time for something other then sitting in agonizing silence, trying to recall my childhood._

_Kurogane is hard on the outside, but I've seen his kindness shown towards Fai. I am not one to measure his ability to fight, but he is indeed good at what he does…_

_Mokona is the cuddliest, most opinionated, humorous thing I have ever had to joy of seeing (to my knowledge). And when Kurogane is grumpy, what would dear Fai do without Mokona? That would be like a stale piece of bread, I think. The two of them never fail to make me giggle._

_Syaoran is my protector. He's always by my side, watching me sleep, walking by me, and monitoring me. I don't mind though. In fact, I think I like it._

_Even though his chocolate brown hair covers his eyes half of the time, I always catch those ginger-chestnut orbs on me. The only way I can respond, in my building daftness, is to blush absently. How can I say absently? It's always the opposite, now isn't it...?_

_I'm conscience of him all of the time._

_In my actions, in my mind._

_He does everything for me, and how do I repay him? I faint in a time of need, from lack of sleep._

_I wish I could help him more… maybe if I did, he would reward me with one of those smiles I rarely see._

_What am I saying? It's like I love him or something…_

Her pen came to an abrupt stop, quickly scanning what she had just written in surprise.

Had that thought really crossed her mind?

She couldn't… love him.

He, who was so kind to her, who held her hand when she was in pain….

Sighing, she closed the book, and dropping it to her side, she ventured to the next room.

"Here's your pen, Fai."

He smiled knowingly, pocketing it.

"Anytime, Sakura-chan!"

Her attention was from there on converted to a presence behind her.

"Was the journal of any help sorting your feelings out, Sakura-hime?"

She turned and smiled (how could she not?), greeting the sudden appearance of her protector.

"Yes, I think it did…"


End file.
